Bad Likes | The lamest likes on Facebook and the crazies who post them

Internet: $50. Computer: $1200. Facebook: Priceless.

Every once in a while something comes along in the endless world of Facebook that makes you smile. Sometimes it’s a cute saying, occasionally it’s an animal, often it’s a play on words and every now and then, it’s a cartoon. Once in a while I get lucky enough to find a cartoon that is just a play on words.

This time that is exactly what I’ve found. It’s a little green lady that expresses the meaning of aging with humor and modern day realities. She compares old age to natural resources. Combines the fact that whoever has the most natural resources is the one that is truly rich. The point she makes is that with old age comes all the natural resources that people have ever fought over.

I don’t deny that her natural resources didn’t quite come together in a way that brings forth riches. She simply states the way of life and the way of aging. It’s both cute and funny and therefore worthy of being shared.

I do hope that she is wrong and that all of these riches will not be coming my way. I am not a strong as this little green lady; I lack the capacity to take on the resources of wealth and power. Furthermore I lack the desire. I never thought I would utter these words. If with age comes the resources of wealth, may I stay below the line of poverty way beyond my golden years. Let me pass penniless with dignity.

Maryland Bans Nosy Facebook Invasions

Your boss can no longer ask for your Facebook password in one state.

Remember last month when it was discovered that people all across the country are being asked by employers—both current as well as potential ones, on job interviews—for their Facebook passwords and profile names? As one of my friends said, one down, 49 to go.

Maryland has become the first state to ban employers (or potential employers) from asking people for their Facebook passwords, which, to me, is simply as bad as asking for one’s bank password, or giving them the key to your home—not so they can steal, of course, but so they can at least snoop around and discover all of your secrets, from that giant bong you attacked during Freshman year to the horrible things that you say about your in-laws. Because, you know, they need to know that about you before they pay you minimum wage, steal your youth, and generally stifle your soul for the next thirty years, depending upon if they lay you off or not.

It’s way past time that our laws caught up with our technology. Facebook and other social networking sites, as well as blogs, should not be a part of the hiring process (unless someone is not even bright enough to make them private; then, by all mean, why not?). The fact that DNA can be replicated by any basic bio major needs to be taken into consideration during trials. Men who knowingly break condoms and impregnate women on purpose to have as many offspring as possible and get away with it need to be charged for this crime. Videos of people should not be sold without their consent. The list could go on for days, but the gist is simple—we need laws that match our huge technological boom. Our technology has simply surpassed our own brains and policies; you have to wonder if we even deserve it or if it’s wasted on a bunch of apes.

I am glad that Maryland has made it illegal to ask for someone’s private information on a social networking site, but what about other states? Perhaps Facebook should make it part of their own privacy policy—to not share passwords with anyone. Yes, that’s sort of lame and not enforceable by any means, but it would at least indicate that it’s unethical—which it of course is anyway, and employers who don’t realize that (or don’t care) certainly aren’t worth working for.

What is up with Facebook photo shares?

Three kinds of pictures, always from the same group of Facebook friends

Have you ever noticed that certain people always share the same pictures on Facebook? There's never really any variation to it. Granted you'll have a variation of pictures all day, though each variation will come from separate friends and each friend will always seem to stay within their normal picture boundaries.

Crazy Friends

I get so many of these thrown across my Facebook news feed that it has truly become ridiculous. Apparently a large number of my Facebook friends are in fact insane and through numerous images and statements, they are working long and hard to drive me insane. Maybe they just want company, or maybe they know something that I don't.

Bible Pumpers

Another large portion of my Facebook friends have become bible pumpers within the online world. Oddly I know for a fact that at least a few of these friends aren't really all that religious within normal life. I can't decide if they are having some strange religious experience when they go online or if they have been the closet church followers this whole time.

Animal Lovers

We all love animals to one degree or another, however a percentage of Facebook friends seem to be drawn beyond normal means to plaster animal pictures on the Facebook news feed. Not just any animal pictures, but extremely cute animal pictures. Animals sitting in little cups, animals making strange faces and animals hugging each other. I have animals and they've yet to do some of these things so I'm not sure how these pictures are taken. I just know that even as cute as they are, they have become a little redundant.

Thank You Facebook for finding what every man Eventually Wants

A complete dating Application

I have complete confidence stating that my brother will be utilizing this application. My niece is still in elementary school yet my brother already has dating fears. Fortunately with this application he might be able to set aside a few of his fears.

The application pretty much covers it all. It has all of your basic information such as name, date of birth and driver’s license number. Then it gets a little more detailed and ask for current GPA, Boy Scout rank and church affiliation.

Once that tidbit of information is out of the way it gets really strange. The application request what “Don’t Touch My Daughter” really means, where the boy would least like to be shot, whether or not the boy has ever been fingerprinted and where the applicants ashes should be scattered.

All of that bizarre questioning isn’t even my favorite part. My favorite part is at the bottom of the application in the fine print. It basically goes on to say that the application can take 4-6 weeks to be processed and any contact during that time can lead to bodily harm.

This is definitely every man’s greatest gift and worse nightmare dependent upon whatever stage of life the man is currently in. I imagine it’s every woman’s nightmare regardless of age. As a young daughter it would be humiliating at best, as a wife it would still be a little more than just embarrassing. I’m not entirely for certain, though thinking back I can’t help but to wonder if my dad didn’t have some form of application like this one.

No, You Can’t Check My Facebook!

How employers are breeching privacy in America

Remember back when it was reported that having the wrong Facebook friends could actually sink your credit score? That was pretty wild, yet this new report has me even more mad: new employers are actually asking for peoples’ Facebook login and password information during job interviews. Could you imagine sitting there, being interviewed—which is nerve wrecking enough—and flat out being asked for your Facebook login and bloody password so this complete stranger—who may or may not even hire you in the first place—can go traipsing around your private Facebook account?

This should be considered a huge breach of privacy, but it’s not. Our laws have, as usual, failed to keep up with the times and technology in which we live—the same system that condemns a person to death based on faulty eyewitness accounts, DNA evidence be damned, also fails to protect our basic online identities on a regular basis. I am sure the government is absolutely loving this online boom, since it allows them to keep track of us all so much more conveniently.

My middle sister actually told me—prefacing her confession with a shaky “I know you’re not going to like this!”—that she thinks it would be so much more “convenient” for us all to just have something scannable or a chip or something in our arms in order to have our IDs and money available at all times. Seriously?? You have got to be kidding me. Not only is this silly, considering the fact that IDs and accounts change all of the time, and not only is it setting us up to be even more vulnerable to hackers who are much brighter than the minds who create such systems in the first place and would have no trouble getting into our flesh—literally or figuratively—within five minutes, but talk about a huge invasion! An invasion of not just your privacy but of your own person. Do all of these Republican laws on our bodies as women make us so much more complacent in order to consider such things?

I have always been anti-ID and don’t carry mine whenever I can afford it. When I am asked, I often give my passport instead of anything else; I love to see them try to swipe it in their little machines, finally muttering, “I’ll have to make a copy.” Yeah, you go and make your little copy. We should be able to remain as anonymous as we possibly can. We already have to register our vehicles for—what else?—an easy identification system for the cops.

I probably sound like a conspiracy theorist to you, but how can you not in the digital age? You do know that Bush II signed laws into practice mandating that all babies born after 2006 had blood samples stolen from them in order to—to what, we don’t know. Use for research? Develop clones? Who the hell knows? It’s common knowledge now, and though you have to sign a waiver to get a blood transfusion to SAVE your baby’s life, you have no say in this. And we just sit back and take it!

I don’t advocate violence, but what I certainly can’t stand is this lazily sitting back and doing nothing habit we’ve developed. We have privacy issues at risk all across the board—those above as well as so many others, especially medical issues—and they’re not going to just go away without our help.

Religious Philosophies according to Facebook

From careless to guilt ridden

Facebook finds are the greatest. You just never know from one day to the next what you might stumble across. Religion based finds are somewhat common, though often singular. This Facebook find did a great job at stacking all religions together, though Baptist was left out. No worries, I added it from my own personal childhood recollections.

There are the “easy going” religions. These include Taoism, Hare Krishna and Rastafarianism. I hadn’t considered Rastafarianism as a religion, though I must say with their motto of “Let’s smoke this Shit” it might not be a bad religion. In fact I think it just might be one of the few religions that people could be a part of without worrying about sin.

No pack of religious thought would be complete without the “guilt Ridden” religions. To cover this great religious need we have Catholicism and the Protestantism, although I’m sure there should be a few more in this category. You could possibly add the Amish, since they work themselves to death and deprive themselves so that Shit won’t happen.

Judaism is listed as the persecuted religion. Taking a look back at history, they just might be on to something. Of course, I say live for tomorrow not yesterday then again that might be why I just wouldn’t fit into this particular religious group.

Finally I will finish with the omitted Baptism. They make shit happen all week long until they are forgiven on Sunday. Many people consider Baptists as the hypocritical group. They might be hypocrites or maybe they just look at it like their supposed to be sinners and their just enjoying the life they were given.

Junk foods that you just can't quit

Way, way too many.

Sometimes, I like to imagine that I’ll have the willpower to give up junk food forever, once and for all. I’ll eat my healthy diet of only vegetables and rice, lean meats and fruits for dessert. But it can—and does—only last so long. I’m addicted to so many high-fat foods—deep-fried things and sweet things and salty things—snacks that make my body feel bloated and lethargic, but taste so damn delicious. Perhaps I’ll pay for these indulgences in my 50’s, but for now, let’s talk about some of the most delicious edibles that are oh-so-difficult to give up:

Fried chicken. I don’t care if the fried chicken in question is Colonel Sander’s original recipe or some homespun recipe perfected by grandma over several decades. Crunchy, crispy fried chicken—usually in a red-and-white checked box drenched with grease—a couple of Southern-style biscuits, corn on the cob and mashed potatoes with gravy probably tops the scales at thousands of calories, but it’s too good to give up entirely. I try to eat it in moderation, but sometimes that crunch is too much to resist.

Burritos. When I was in high school, I went to the fresh Mex chain Chipotle at least once a week. Often, I would go more than once a week. I think it’s possible to have a pretty healthy burrito, but why would you want one? I topped mine with guacamole, sour cream and cheese and usually got a side of tortilla chips to lap up the extras that fell outside of the tortilla shell. Since Chipotle is owned by the McDonald’s corps, I used to joke that they put some narcotic-like additive into their burritos to make people coming back, but burritos out of the back of some back-alley taco truck are just as unforgettable.

Heath bar and crushed over vanilla ice cream. English toffee is my favorite kind of chocolate. It’s a toffee center covered with chocolates and finished with a liberal coating of nuts. Heath bar is basically the same things—sans the nuts—and is sold at grocery stores everywhere. I know that Ben & Jerry’s makes a Heath Bar Crunch ice cream, but this version is seriously lacking in terms of the heath bar content. Make your own with an entire heath bar for yourself. It’s so delicious.

What are you favorite culinary guilty pleasures? Do you think you’ll ever give them up?

Take What You Need

Finally, a Facebook Photo Win!

I have been writing fairly frequently about Facebook photo fails lately. From stupid photos about women who cry or need to scream or are crying inside (or stupidly all of the above) to text messages about lotharios trying to get women in bed by claiming they will have children with them eventually, they all piss me off and they are all not worth posting. But recently I saw one that actually did inspire me to do something a little bit bigger than myself, and I am left wondering if viewing all of the duds made this one even a bit worth it. I am thinking the answer to that may be yes.

The picture was like one of those rental ads where some details about the space are listed along with several strips of paper cut with phone numbers on them for people to tear them off and call the number later. (Whoever invented this ad, by the way, is a genius.) However, instead of being an actual ad, the poster reads, “TAKE what you NEED.” Below, instead of phone numbers, many different intangible items are listed, from love to peace to compassion. I even included some on mine such as a new perspective, a different view, GUTS, or a hug. Okay, I know that the hug one is a little far fetched, but sometimes that’s all you need! Just ask the girl who is crying inside while she’s over-thinking and screaming.

So I plan on hanging these up all over town, from my sister’s boyfriend’s store to the library and the grocery store. My aunt even took one to display in her room and use as she needs it—she’s already taken two off and plans on using more throughout the week. Another relative took hers to work and found it in the trash, unfortunately, but that’s bound to happen. My husband claims that it’s a waste of time, but like I insisted, if one person finds joy from it, it’s worth it.

How about joining me and making your own? It’s incredibly easy to make and hang up, and you can post them anywhere from bulletin boards to college campuses and anywhere you’ll be bound to find job ads. In fact, the unemployment office is probably one of the best places you could ever hang them! I’ll have to use that idea myself and post them in our local office later today.

Increasing black bear population has many worried

As black bear numbers have begun to increase from the eastern seaboard all the way to California, a debate begins about how to live amongst the animals and how to regulate their numbers, via hunting.

Since the 1970s black bear populations have been on the rise throughout the country. Fears about the black bear’s possibly extinction has turned to pure fear of the black bears as they begin to infiltrate populous communities in Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland (where encounters with the bears has been a minimal occurrence up until now). National parks are no longer the hot spot for tourists to catch a glimpse of the bears and now residents have flooded their local wildlife agencies, complaining about the bears in their backyards and tearing a part their garbage cans.

With people understandably in fear of the large creatures proximity to their homes and children, a new debate has flared about how to deal with the rising bear population and regulate it. As public tolerance for the bears begins to diminish (although rare, there have been a few fatalities caused by bear attacks) in the past few years and some believe hunting in order to keep numbers down is the best solution.

However, bear hunting is quite different from other large game hunting. Bear hunting is not done from the safety of a deer stand high up in the trees or camouflaged on the ground. Also, hunters still use packs of hunting dogs to locate and run bears up trees where they can easily be located and shot. Some animal activists believe this method of hunting is inhumane to the bears and with the fear of black bear extinction not far in the past, some speculate killing the bears at all is a practical means to mitigate the public’s fear.

What do you think should be done to both protect the bears and their environment and to ease public opinion about their presence?

History's bad romances

In honor of this recent Valentine’s Day and for those of you who think your own relationship is in the dumps, here are a few comical “love stories” from history that will make you feel better about your own bad romance.

Abelard & Heloise

There’s a tale from medieval times that is still referenced in our pop culture and somewhat resembles that of Romeo and Juliet, however the real story behind Abelard and Heloise is not quite as romantic. Around the 1100s, Peter Abelard, a rich, famous, and fairly intelligent man was called on to be the personal teacher of the teenage girl Heloise. He didn’t remain a very appropriate teacher student relationship and soon ended up seducing and getting Heloise pregnant. Abelard then sent the young girl to live in the countryside in order to hide her shame. Abelard and Heloise did secretly marry, against the wishes of either one’s families, but soon after, Heloise’s uncle caught wind of the scandal, found Abelard and castrated him. Yikes. Afterwards, Abelard decided it was about time he join a monastery as a monk and he forced Heloise to join a convent as a nun. What a sweet tale huh?

Napoleon & Josephine

When Napoleon first met young Josephine he was completely enamored with her. However the feeling was not reciprocal, as Josephine had a long list of suitors and dabbled in many relationships. After they wed, Napoleon was called to battle at which time he wrote some of the most beautiful love letters to his new wife. But, as Napoleon was fighting, Josephine was making the rounds. When Napoleon found out about his wife’s many infidelities he began his own crusade to nab as many women as possible. He ended up impregnating a mistress and divorced Josephine. How romantic!

For more historical bad romances see here.

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